Here, agent, agent, agent! Have I got a book for you to represent: “The Ardent Admirer.” Why? Okay. Selling points: it’s well-written, adheres faithfully to a rather entertaining moment in film history, and has enough twists and turns to keep readers guessing and turning the page. I guarantee it’s good. It’s a natural and people will buy it. With all of the crap that gets published–I’m looking at you, “Werewolf Cop”–why not handle something unique that you don’t see that often? Look, just read it. I’m sure you’ll ardently admire it once you’re done. If you’re interested, post a request to read it–agents only please, of course.
(Hey, if I have to resort to groan-inducing puns to get representation, so be it.)